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A few years ago I preached a series on the book of James, and I was challenged by one thought that he brings out more than most.  In James 3:17-18, the Message version says, “Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results onlyif you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.”

We have our mission in ministry as “Being a Real Church taking the Real Jesus to Real People”.   This authenticity and transparency is rooted in maturity, specifically, "spiritual maturity."  That is a phrase that is very common in churches today.  Andy Stanley made it popular a few years ago and it has been the rallying cry of spiritual development and growth ever since.  It is a statement of discipline.  I have a passion to lead people into this place of true spiritual maturity. Paul had the same passion when he said he wanted them to be adults and not infants in I Corinthians 3.

This is the same theme James is referring to.  He is talking about wisdom.  Wisdom is knowledge or information gained through experience.  It is a marker of maturity.  When I think of a wise person I usually think of an aged sage.  A person who has been around the block a few times.  Someone who I can ask for advise and they can pull from years of experience and share their “wisdom” with me.  

But my friend Dave Martin gave me a new understanding of spiritual maturity and how to get this wisdom.  The most common way is age, experience, time.  But that takes a long time, your whole life, actually.  The second is from those who are ahead of us.  That is the example I am referring to, and the one I am leaning on in this blog.

I want to look at the words of James and get wisdom, “The principle thing” according to Solomon in the book of Proverbs.  James said real wisdom, or maturity, comes from us learning to get along with each other. That is a trait and a quality that is sorely lacking in the world today; and I dare say, in the body of Christ as well.  Not to get weird or overly spiritual, but we have been deceived with the spirit of offense in our overall culture. We are all offended by anything and everything.  Whether it is Target and restrooms, Starbucks and everything, church and religion, church people and, well, again, everything…, or “someone telling us what to do.”

One of the contributing factors is that we have a generation of young people raised with no father in the home.  For the first time in human history the majority of fathers have little to no influence over their children.  Either because they are estranged, separated, unwilling, or unable.  Not passing judgment, just stating a fact.  This means that the majority of homes in the US today are single-mom led.  Moms are designed to be the nurturers.  Dads are designed to be the disciplinarians.  When either of those roles are blurred, or in most cases, non-existant, people have an unhealthy unbalance in their loves.  This carries over to society, government, and even the church.

In scripture, the church is our mother.  It is designed to be the nurturer, and we are fine with that.  That is what we are used to.  But the pastor, the shepherd role is to be the one who brings discipline and correction.  Now, we are called to do it with love and compassion, but we are still called to do it. But just like joint-custody homes, when discipline is given people decide to go live with momma because it is just not working for them.   Now, I know this sounds harsh, but it is the truth.  Then when we feel stunted in our spiritual growth we cannot figure out why.

James says there is a solution to this problem.  In the verses above he says we have to have the following characteristics if we are going to be spiritually mature:

1.             Be Gentle – fruit of the spirit.  Don’t be harsh or critical.
2.             Be Reasonable
3.             Be Merciful
4.             Add Value to Others
5.             Be  Stable
6.             Be Loyal
7.             Show Dignity
8.             Show Honor

Listen, James admits this is going to be hard work.  In fact, it will be your life’s work.  It will be something you work on every day of your life.  But as you learn these traits, you will be growing in your maturity, your wisdom.  And as you do, just like Jesus in Luke 2:52, You will “increase with wisdom and stature with both God and man”.


Let’s go back to where I started; many of you will be offended by this.  That’s ok.  Look at yourself, have that man in the mirror moment.  Ask yourself if you are showing the 8 Traits of Wisdom to those around you. Are you walking in wisdom today? Here’s my hint:  if everything offends you, you’re not.  (Sorry to hurt your feelings)  Now do the “hard work” and forgive me!

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